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Santa
Claus Online
Now,
Santa in his
workshop
surveyed the
toys with pride.
They really were
quite awesome,
so he called his
elves aside.
"Now
every toy is
finished
and lined up on
the shelves.
Your workmanship
is
perfect,"
he said to all
his elves.
"But
listen to me,
fellows,
I've news to
make you sad,
'cause something
has just
happened,
and I am feeling
bad.
"You
see, the kiddies
wrote me
by e-mail all
this year,
and I don't know
what caused it,
but my 'puter's
broke, I fear.
"This
morning bright
and early
I turned my 'puter
on
and tried to
view my e-mail
but found that
it was gone!
"While
everyone was
sleeping
and quiet was in
the house,
I tried my best
to find it
by clicking with
my mouse.
"I
always got the
message
no mail was in
my box.
I guess I was so
shaken
I trembled in my
socks!
"I
changed from my
pajamas
into my Santa
suit;
I then crossed
all my fingers
and gave that
thing a boot!
"But
still my mail
was missing;
I don't know
what to do,
'cause I just
can't remember
which toys
should go to
who!
"I
guess we
should've tagged
'em
while I still
had my mail,
but how was I to
know that
the blasted
thing would
fail?
"I
wish I'd never
bought it;
the old way was
the best.
Back then I had
no problem
with filling
each request.
"This
Christmas is a
sad one
for all the
girls and boys,
'cause Santa
won't be coming
to bring them
any toys."
Poor
Santa! So
unhappy
he just sat down
and cried,
as all his
little helpers
clung closely to
his side.
When
Mrs. Claus had
finished
her
breakfast-cooking
treat,
she came into
the workshop
to say,
"It's time
to eat."
'Twas
such a gloomy
picture
that Mrs. Claus
espied,
the first thing
that she thought
was
one of his elves
had died.
"Oh,
Santa, what's
the
matter?"
to Mr. Claus she
said.
"My
precious darling
husband,
who is the elf
that's
dead?"
When
Santa had
stopped crying,
he said,
"Oh, Mrs.
Claus,
this year
there'll be no
Christmas;
my 'puter is the
cause.
"It
gobbled up the
letters
that all the
kiddies wrote.
It simply ate my
e-mail;
left not a
single
note!"
"Dear
Santa, don't you
worry,"
the missus then
replied.
"It sure
does make me
happy
that no one here
has died.
"Now
dry your tears,
my husband;
we'll sack up
all the toys.
This year there will
be Christmas
for all the
girls and boys.
"You
see, I quite
expected
that high-tech
thing might
fail,
so each day
since you got it
I've printed out
your mail.
"The
list is rather
lengthy,
so Elves, you
must get busy,
but let poor
Santa rest until
he rallies from
his tizzy."
Now
Santa felt so
joyful
that he could
not resist
just scooping up
his missus
and giving her a
kiss.
"My
lovely, precious
lady,
I don't know
what to say,
but thank you,
thank you, thank
you,
for you have
saved my
day!"
With
eyes that were
facetious
she headed to
the door,
then turned and
said to Santa,
"Why,
that's what
wives are
for."
Well,
Santa wrote a
letter
before he went
to dine,
informing all
the children
that he had gone
offline.
He
wrote with much
conviction
and said,
"Do Not
Forget:
Next year don't
send your
letters
to Santa Claus
dot net!
"My
'puter lost your
e-mail;
yes, every note
this year.
If not for Mrs.
Santa,
I could not
bring you cheer.
"So
when you write
your wishes,
on paper, card,
or scroll,
please mail by
postal service
to Santa Claus,
North
Pole."
Now
Santa was
contented
and quite his
jolly self,
and with a
sudden
brainstorm
he said to his
main elf:
"Go
wrap up my
computer
and sprinkle it
with cheer;
'twill make a
fine addition
to the misfit
toys this
year!"
Copyright
© 2001 Ruth
Gillis
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