Mona And The Mouse Brigade
Miss Mona was a single gal, lived
down the road from me;
she had no girlish qualities, least
none that I could see.
I'd seen her nail the roofing on;
I'd watched her slopping hogs,
and every winter for her fire I saw
her chopping logs.
Now one day from my kitchen door, I
heard a dreadful shout;
I hastened to Miss Mona's house to
see what it was about.
You can't imagine my surprise to see
Mone crouching high
on top of her refrigerator with
teardrops in her eye!
I said, Miss Mone, what in the
world has made you so upset?
She hollered, "There's a
mouse in here and that is why I
I saw it scurry 'cross the floor; it
sped beneath my chair,
but when I got my pistol out and
looked, it wasn't there!
Then faster than my expert aim, it
scuttled 'hind the door --
I fear I've shot my bullets up; I
don't have any more!
I even called the Sheriff up, told
him to come today
and catch the dirty lowdown rat
before he gets away!"
About that time I saw the mouse, a
critter on the run;
I grabbed Mone's empty pistol and
whacked him with her gun.
The rodent lay upon the floor; I
told her he was dead;
"Just get that monster outa
here," was what Miss Mona said.
I heard the sirens screaming near; I
must've looked aghast
when thirteen deputies approached
with guns, handcuffs, and gas!
Miss Mone dashed toward the kitchen
door, still shaking in her boots;
I heard those deputies exclaim,
"Halt now or we will
Now, I don't fault the law because 'twas
easy to construe
that Mona was the culprit as out the
door she flew.
I tried to tell 'em that Miss Mone
was fleeing from the house
to put some space between her and a
dead and bloody mouse.
I guess they didn't understand; they
showed no comprehension,
but said, "Stand back, don't
interfere with lawful
They seized poor Mone and shook her
down as she commenced to wail,
then slapped the handcuffs on her
wrists and hauled her off to jail.
The moral of this story is, and two
there may be to it:
Appearance is deceiving,
therefore don't misconstrue it.
The second is important -- be
sure that it is heeded --
Don't ever, ever call the law
unless they're really needed.
Copyright © 1994 Ruth Gillis
Mona And The Mouse Brigade"
received a Second Place Award
in the March 1998 issue of Poet's