Christmas Gift

For Christmas hubby bought me
a hat he thought was swell.
Although I did not like it,
I knew I'd never tell.

I fibbed and said I loved it
and placed it on my head.
It scared my dog so much that
he hid beneath the bed!

And, oh, the flowers on it
looked like a collard patch,
and it itched my head so badly
that all I did was scratch!

I wore it to church on Sunday,
(I knew it would please him)
but I felt just like a clown in
my hat with crazy brim.

The preacher in the pulpit
gave me that smiling look,
so I tried to hide that topper
behind my hymnal book.

The congregation members
seemed specially filled with glee,
and I couldn't help but notice
they were looking straight at me!

My hubby beamed so proudly
and whispered in my ear,
"You look so lovely, honey;
they like your hat, my dear."

He did not have an inkling;
he did not even guess
that they were just amused at
my millinery dress.

Oh, I was so embarrassed
and vowed right there and then
somehow I'd find a way to
never wear that hat again!

Don't want to hurt his feelings,
but that topper's got to go,
and there's one other thing that
my hubby dear must know.

I'll break it to him gently,
when the timing is just right,
maybe when the snow is falling
on a quiet romantic night.

I'll say to him next Christmas,
before the money's gone,
"Please don't buy me a present;
just let me buy my own!"

~Copyright © 1996 Ruth Gillis~